I'm feeling "52"

6 years feels like at least 20......

March 15, 2008....2weeks away from our wedding...so excited that our life together was beginning
March 15, 2009....a scary first year of marriage with a cancer diagnosis 4 months in leading to removal of one of my ovaries. But hope on the horizon as our sweet little peanut was growing inside me! But, miscarriage  several weeks later stole our hope and broke our hearts.....(mucinous cancer)
March 15, 2010....after my miscarriage a year of fertility doctors and "treatment plans" due to more cancer cells...this time in my uterus but treatment was successful and we were on the fertility journey again (epithelial cancer)
March 15, 2011....a day after my 29th birthday....went in for a simple outpatient surgery to drain a cyst on my ovary only to wake up hours later with a huge incision all the way down my abdomen, a lot of pain, a foggy brain, and the devastating news that my simple cyst was cancerous involving my only remaining ovary and uterus which resulted in a total hysterectomy (endometrial and epithelial cancer)
March 15, 2012....slow physical and emotional recovery with intense menopausal symptoms but embracing my 30s with hope for the future....began our fundraising efforts and found a surrogate later this year. Huge purple scar running vertically down the center of my abdomen measuring 12.5 inches long as a constant reminder of the events of the past
March 15, 2013.....finally hope...moving along with surrogate. She and Amy made it safely to town. one week away from egg retrieval and implantation. Had no idea what would be ahead in the coming week. Went forward with egg retrieval but we were unable to transfer as our "surrogate" violated our legal contract, went bananas, and skipped town with no explanations. Our hearts were broken once again...realized later it was a blessing in disguise and found the right surrogate later this year. Had successful transfer with Susan and became prgnant only to miscarry a few weeks later
March 15, 2014....recovering from miscarriage and ready to move forward yet again. Bracing our hearts and praying for continued hope, peace, understanding and joy in the months ahead. Here's to hoping this year brings us our dream of a family.....so tired of waiting, and hoping, and waiting some more....

In the past 6 years I have had 3 completely separate types of cancer, experienced 2 miscarriages in completely different ways, gone through menopause, had numerous surgeries and fertility treatments,     and experienced some of the greatest joys of my life and some of the greatest sorrows of my life. On this day, 6 years later, I am still standing strong . My heart is broken, my hope is wavering, and my sadness can sometimes be overwhelming but I am determined to understand God's plan for our lives. I know we were meant to be parents and I am holding onto that for peace and comfort.  Please continue to love and support us through this as we keep moving forward.