April 2012

As April comes to a close, we continue to feel so fortunate and blessed to have so many people supporting us and encouraging us throughout this journey.  With my Thirty-one parties/orders this month we were able to raise almost another $1000 for the baby fund.  I have wonderful friends and family that continue to host parties in their home or have catalog work parties to help us in this venture to become parents.  I never saw myself as the "sales" type but I am embracing these opportunities with open arms as each party/order puts us one step closer to our goal.. We are officially 1/8 of the way towards our goal of $50,000.

I went for my check up, yet another physical exam and another round of blood work, on April 9th and got a good report card from the oncologist. I have now graduated to check ups every 4 months instead of every 3 months.  I've officially started year 2 of being cancer free!  We are hoping and praying for 50+ years to go:-)
 
I got to visit Florida for Easter and spend some wonderful time with my family and friends. (Jose had to stay in Dallas since he just started his new job.)  I love every second of being home and always feel like the time speeds by.  I hate having to say goodbye, and cry every time,  but I know that Dallas is where Jose and I are meant to be right now.  Hopefully, one day, when I am not having to visit the oncologist every 3-4 months, we will be able to come home for good.  But, until then, I thank God for my health and my ability to travel to Florida for a weekend.  

HDL Reunion!!  Jess, Hattie, and Suz came to visit me in Destin.

My most favorite girls in the world....Emma Lee, Anna Elizabeth, and Lily Kate!

Easter weekend was a little bitter sweet for me since the last time I was home for Easter was the year I was pregnant.  We went to the cabin in Freeport on Easter Sunday and I had a flood of memories wash over me.  The last time I visited the cabin I was pregnant; and thinking about the wonderful memories I had here as a child while dreaming of our sweet baby enjoying some of these same memories in the years ahead.  Jose and I were on top of the world and just a few short days later, our world crumbled.  No matter how much distance, hope, prayer, and healing you put between your present life and the loss of a baby, your heart will never forget.  My heart was filled with so much love and happiness this year; to be able to share more special moments and create many wonderful memories with my family. But, my heart also ached for the baby that we will never hold in our arms nor share in this life.  I continue to look to God for strength to help me through these moments.  One of my most favorite songs has helped me through this month....

Held 

 by Natalie Grant

Two months is too little
They let him go
They had no sudden healing

To think that providence
Would take a child from his mother
While she prays, is appalling

Who told us we'd be rescued
What has changed and
Why should we be saved from nightmares

We're asking why this happens to us
Who have died to live, it's unfair

(Chorus:)
This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was when everything fell
We'd be held

This hand is bitterness
We want to taste it and
Let the hatred numb our sorrows

The wise hand opens slowly
To lilies of the valley and tomorrow

(Chorus:)
This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was when everything fell
We'd be held

March 2012

Well, we are one month into our fundraising efforts and things are going well.  We are amazed and blown away by our friends, families, and total strangers that have reached out to help us during this time.  We are blessed both near and far to have so many wonderful people cheering us on and/or offering their financial support.  All contributions both small and large are helping us reach our ultimate goal of becoming parents.  In this first fundraising month we were able to raise $3,000 for our baby Contreras fund.  Jose and I had already saved $2,000 so we are now 1/10 of the way there!  We truly have been humbled through this experience and are encouraged by the outpouring of love and support we have received.

In other news...Jose got a job!  He is working at a plant nursery and is really enjoying it.  We decided to continue living within the means we lived when we were only receiving my paycheck.  So, Jose's entire paycheck goes into our Baby Contreras Fund and my paycheck pays the bills.  For so long, my heart has ached with the thought of never being a mother and Jose's of never being a father.  I felt like there was a huge weight on my chest that made it difficult to breathe.  With the positive changes that have come this past month, I finally feel like I can breathe a little easier and I feel like this far off goal of $50,000 is becoming more obtainable every day.  In mid March I also reached the 3rd decade of my life.  I had NO sadness, sorrow, or anxiety saying goodbye to 29 and I am hoping and praying that my 30's treat me better than my 20's did! 

We are continuing our fundraising efforts and look forward to many more exciting moments on this road ahead!  We are still open to suggestions on any other fundraising events you might think of.  Thank you all for your continued support and encouragement as we overcome obstacles, conquer cancer, and prepare for parenthood.

Continue to check back for updated information!

Many people have asked how they can help. So, we have set up a fundraising event online to help us reach our goal of $50,000 to become parents through surrogacy or adoption.  

You can also check out my Thirty-one page for practical and cute bags and accessories.  All proceeds go directly to our "Baby Contreras Account".

www.mythirtyone.com/95458

Please let us know if you have any other ideas or suggestions on fundraising events.